forgive and forget

This morning i was just thinking is the such thing as "forgive and forget". I remember thats what Nelson Mandela said at the end of apartheid , its easy for me to do that because i did not experiance it how about those people who were  there the ones that lost their lives in the hands of the white men, the ones who spent most their lives in jail fighting for their freedom, the ones who lost family members how do they forget those memories those years of their lives wasted the missing presence of their loved ones. The is only one answer for me to that they cannot forget but they can forgive because those are not memories one can easily forget. I am not aginst the white man i believe that South Africa is moving forward and the are less and less white people who still think that way but now i fear that the is reverse apartheid were black people are teaching their children to hate the white men where our leaders are promoting it with the likes of people like Malema in parliament and i just wonder what that will do for our country. I personaly believe that most of the people that put our people through that pain most of them have died and died with their since and the only person we should let punish them is God.

women cries

Last weekend i was having a talk with one of my close cousins and i was talking to her about her relationship with her boyfrieind, i just wanted to get to understand why a women would stay in a relationship for years while she is being physically and mentally abused and she told me its becouse of love and that she believes that her partner was doing that because he loved her and he was looking out for her. She has been in this kind of relationship for almost five years now. I got so upset that the are women who think they deserve what these man do to them and mostly blame themselves for it. What kind of love is that that makes you cry and makes you loose your self esteem, i dont understand how a person who claims to love you can say such horrible things to you. how do we change the mindset of those women how do we get them out of those relationships because some of them have never been in relationships were they are not beaten and sweared at. I have had this experiance with my causin who comes crying to me and then when the pain from all those beatings has healed she goes back to him and claim that he says it was a mistake he didnt mean it he is so sorry, i mean how many times does he have to beat her until it stops being a mistake until he is not sorry anymore. HOW DO WE HELP THOSE WOMEN