Life difficulties

Its funny in life that we have to go through something so painfull in order to realise how strong we are.Life is full of suprises and when you least expect it someting happens that thing changes your life forever. As we grow we make choices some we know that are stupid but because we are so caught up in the moment we never think of the consequences of those silly little decisions.But thats life for you, you never know what to expect. Its no use looking and regreting everything because life goes on and you have already made that choice and the damage is already done. Some people say live life in the moment like the is no tomorrow and that seems so easy to say but how do you live life like the is no tomorrow when today is more painfull and seems so impossible to move past.Have you ever noticed that the very same thing that once made you happy and you felt like you were on top of the world can be the very same thing that makes you feel that life is not worth living anymore. Isnt it funny how most of the decisions we regret were made out of love, you were so inlove at that time it felt like the best thing to do. The problem I feel is that when we get into relationships we are so vulnerable that these simple words "I LOVE YOU" make you feel like evrythinmg around you is so perfect that you can never feel hurt or sad again. In most situations love is always the source of our bad decisionsand as much as we asre suppose to learn from the sometimes it just feels like we continue to make those dicisions becauseno matter how bad they are they are making us happy at the and isnt that what we all want to be happy an not have to worry about how long that happiness will last.

Who am I?

 I have struggled with that question for most of my life, yes I knew my name and where I came from but I strugled to find my identity me and what  makes me the person that I am.  As a teenager i went through many stages not knowing where i belonged my attitude changed a couple of times, the way I dressed changed as well the type of people i hanged around with, I would be christian the one month then I would be non- religiouse the other.

As I grew older I got to understand that the reason why it was taking me to long to find who I am was because I wanted the person that I discover to be loved by everyone therefore I was changing who I am in the process of finding me so that people can accept me. I learned that being me is not going to be accepted by many people and that in life you will always get people who don't accept you for who you are no matter what kind of person you became.

But when you get to know who you are it is very rewarding bacause your life changes your interests and everything else just becames clear you get to know where you are going in life. You can never get direction in life if you dont know who you are. So friends if you dont know who you are go out there and search for you.

Friendships

We never really understand the importance of friendship until we in situations were we needs friends around us. I did'nt until my father passed away and the first thing that came to mind was my friends name and I called her at 2 in the morning, I needed a shoulder to cry on an she was that now believe me if she wasn't a real friend she wouldnt have unswered that call and if she did she wouldnt have listened to me cry on the phone for two hours when she had a very important test that morning but she did.

For me I have a lot of friends am very good with people that is in my nature and I find that in  my circle of friends am the one that everybody shares with when they need help or when they just want to talk. We always take our friends for granted we dont share things with them because we are so scared of being judged or talked about yes am not denying the fact that in life that happens and it its very difficult to share with someone something that is very personal to you because we seen people who call themselves friends back stab each other. When you meet a real friend you know because that person will alway be there for you and they will protect you and defend you againsts other people now know that when you get someone like that, its a friend to keep. Fear doesnt do anything accept hold you back in life, you need to take chances in order see whats  out there same with friends you start by sharing something small and see how it goes from there. Good luck!!!! 

men in our lives

In a book written by Steve Harvey called Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man it says that man are designed to be protective that it is in their natural being which makes me wonder what went wrong to those man who dont father their children. A man who is able to leave his pegnant spouse wanting nothing to do with the child, what happened to their protective nature dont they think about who will protect their child in the faces of life.

Our grandfathers took care of their families they never abadoned their children and yes they extra marital activities but their families were always top priority. What kind of man calls himself one if he fathers a child he has never seen.

Now I on the other hand had a great father he was there for me all my life yes we had our fights but I got on with him more than I did with my mother I was what you call a daddys girl. But in my life I have seen children who grow up without fathers an what influence that has on their upbringing especially boys, yes some became better people but some just dont know how tobe man because they never been taught what makes a man. The single mothers try their best to teach their children but I belive that everey child needs a man in their lives thats just it.

marikana memorial service

The momerial service that was held in grahamstown to pray for those people who lost their lives in the marikana massacre last month. People from all walks of life were invited and the were guest speakers.It was a great ceremony that ended with a match to the nearest police station to lit candles and pray.

owning my life

I have decided to take control of my life and make the necessary changes that will benefit me in terms of health. I have also been one of those people that were always looking for quick fixes diets that never work or i would start gym and end up not going and now as am growing older I realize that I might be facing some healt isssues like diabetes and that its up to me to make sure that I live a healthy lifestyle. Temptations have always been too hard me to resist and thats why I always fell back. I am going to start writting about my journey and I am hoping that this time I stay on it NO quick fix for just the good old way with physical fitness.

relationships

i was once again sitting in the corner of my world and i thought of all the relationships that i have lost and the ones i have made and what impact they had in my life. About year ago i lost my father he was my everything my best friend, my father, my pillar of sthrenght and i had always felt the empty space in my heart were he should have been and just a few months ago my sister gave birth to twins beautiful boys and just then i thought to myself is this gods way of filling that empty space because they resemble my dad and they remind me so much of him. I now know that those children were brought into this world for something they have brought my family together. I have lost friends in life we all went separate ways but i have also kept alot of friends in the process but when looking at all those friends that i have lost i wonder if i had not cut them loose would i have turned out like them because most of the have dropped out of school and are drinking and smoking while some of them are teenage mothers. In my life i only keep friends that are positive and strive for a better future. I have one friend she is a teenage mother to 2 children but what i like about her is that even though she made those mistakes in her life she didnt give up she is still going strong and wants a better future for her children. Everytime am about to talk about this girl i just laugh she is a friend i met in primary i was i new in the school and we lived in the same community and traveled in the same bus, my mother, her mother and other people always asked me how do you and her get  along ebcause we were so different she was out there loved the party life and boys were else i was more indoors but we got along so much you know she had her friends but i was that friend that she could come to with problems and tell me how she felt and what was going on in her life. Her mother loved the fact that i was friends with her beacouse in her mind i think she thought i could change her and make her become like me but we enjoyed our differences and they complimented our relationship she is still the same old and am also still the same but now since i have growned i wish i had been able to change her because now she has dropped out of school and is staying with a boyfriend i miss her though but she is hard to keep intouch with she changes her numbers all the time. In my journey i have met alot of wonderful people and i have kept alot of great friends in the process i have now what i call best friends they have been with me through the hardest times of my life and i can say i am truly blessed to have them